Ivory, ice and India ink,
Dirty water from the sink,
Ivy and an ibis feather.
Mix these things all up together
Put them in an iron pot.
With a few things I forgot
Then recite a magic spell
Of words that no one knows too well.
Stir it with a bunch of leeks
For a day and seven weeks
Until it starts to stink.
It might taste like a giant squid.
It might taste like an Irish stew.
It might make you invisible
Or it might turn you blue;
It might make you very, very tall.
It might turn you into nothing at all.
It might turn you into a banyan tree.
But if it does, please don’t blame me.