Hugh is huge and hairy
And scary
He has too many teeth
And bad breath
He likes to eat old bones
And sleep on stones.
And sometimes when the moon is out
He likes to run about
And shout.
“Hello!” Hugh hollers, “How are you?”
But no one says Hello to Hugh.
Would you?
Everything, everything, up in the trees
Trees, trees, blow in the breeze
Everything up in the trees will fall,
Fall on our noggins and end us all.
Easy the breeze that will blow it all down
Eleven black hearses to haul us to town
Elderly mourners to cry us to rest
Everything’s all for the best, the best
The best, the best, the best.
Charlie crawls across the floor
Cat’s in the cradle.
Charlie found the cat’s dish
Underneath the table.
Cat’s going hungry now
Charlie’s been fed
Charlie’s napping in the sun
Cat’s gone to bed.
A Genie, gigantic and finally free
Glared down at the guy who had rubbed his lamp – me.
He was fifty feet tall at least – probably more –
And his teeth were like knives, in a mouth like a door.
His eyes were all red and his skin was all green
And he didn’t look happy. He looked pretty mean.
He grabbed me and lifted me up to his head
And he opened his mouth, and I thought I was dead
Till he puckered his lips… and he kissed me instead.
Then he put me down gently and waved his great hand
And I guess he’s gone off to some faraway land.
But I smell like his breath and my face is still damp
And next time I’ll use an electrical lamp.
I walked outside and I saw a monster
With her mommy and her daddy too
I saw them and they saw me
And the monsters all went – BOO!
I ran inside and locked the door
I ran upstairs into my room
I set a clever booby trap
For the monsters who went – BOO!
The monsters came into my house
The monsters came into my room
My clever booby trap went off
And the monsters all went – BOOM!
The monsters flew right out the door
The monsters ran right down the street
The monsters ran right home to bed
And hid beneath their – SHEETS!
Goodbye monsters
Too bad you couldn’t stay
Please come back tomorrow
We’ll all go out and – PLAY!
All afternoon, an alligator
Followed Anne
And finally ate her.
A criminal stole
an enamel animal
and hid it in an anemone.
The King was rude – nobody ruder –
Until the day he met the Buddha.
“Bow before me!” quoth the King;
The Buddha said, “Await the spring.”
“My word is law,” the King proclaimed.
Said Buddha, “Silence won’t be named.”
The King decreed, “Off with his head!”
And Buddha promptly fell down dead.
But from that day, forever after,
The King can’t sleep for hearing laughter.
We thought we’d gotten rid of Sean.
We threw him out onto the lawn.
We boarded all the windows
And shut the door – ker-SLAM!
We locked it up,
and nailed it shut,
And sealed the cracks with jam
And then we turned out all the lights
For one whole day and seven nights.
But when we thought he’d finally gone
We turned around, and —
there was Sean!
Bag of Anything 